Weakness

Weakness seeps out through the clenched teeth
and drips out of bloody fists
There are warrior cries from the overpowering,
And flourishing, Exhaustion.
The silence that is screaming
wakes the shadows to march in rows.

This is where all the swallowed tears live.
Where retained anger thrives.
Here dwells all loss and hopelessness;
All vulnerability and humiliation.
Cold laughter echoes off the walls,
Shuddering the foreboding statues
Of defeated heroes.

Here is the drive to the sobbing wrists
To all frayed ropes:
Worn from the cycle of fear then flesh.
This is the promise of hell in life:
Scorching the resilient and the wary.

This,
Is the world of pain.
The universe in ourselves that we feed anguish.

Liar

It hurts so bad that you lied. That you break promises. That you hide things.
Not only am I not worth the truth, but, evidently, my trust means nothing to you.
I could never lie to you. You mean so much to me and you deserve the truth from me.
I thought it was going to be a beautiful day.
We were so perfect together, why did you have to ruin it?
Please stop hurting me.
I really don't want to forgive you.
But I think I already have.

We don’t hide because we’re weak, we hide because reality has overpowered our will.

I can

I can feel the sharp lines of the pavement pressing into my palms as I throw myself into a flip to bring about the cheers of conformity and obedience.

I can taste the blood of the bitten lips, scarred and tender from both disuse and misuse.

I can hear the strangled cries, tormented by self inflicted agony and torn by self despising mutilation.

I can discern the low buzzing vibrating its vindictive way through the chilling ambiance; rich with gossip and nourishing deception.

I can smell the cold concrete walls and the piercing vinyl floor; the air dry from desperation and relentlessness.

I can find myself disorientated and shaken; tucked away within the devastating corners of my mind, unbelieving and contemplating.

I can watch as the world falls apart at my feet; uncoiling and expanding out its inexorable claws.

I can only linger by and absorb humanity fabricating their own eventual destruction.

I can only feel helpless and insignificant as every gain becomes a loss.

I have betrayed

I have now become a user of tumblr and have been for awhile. Whoops. I hope no feelings are hurt, my poor neglected blogspot, but I have moved on to a better place.
I will visit from time to time.
But I must let you know that I am in love with another website. I am sorry.

VISIT ME :) www.extraordinaryintheordinary.tumblr.com

Myself

"I am always here when you need me..."

That's what you tell me. But I know you're not.
Yet, that's okay because I can take care of myself.
I can handle myself.
I don't need your or anyone else's help.
I can be alone and can still be stable.
I can continue to fight internally.
I do not need your concern;
Nor your affection.
Nor your sympathy.
I am perfectly capable by myself.
I want you to forget about me.



P.S. One or more of these may be untrue.

Promise

Can you hear me?
I am calling for you.
My throat has gone coarse and dry.
My silent shriek burns.
The tremble of my fingers vibrate
And shake the delicate surface,
Of the irregular shaped droplets.

Can you see me?
I am madly waving my arms
The way we did in preschool
When we were so excited
To finally know.
Except now I twist.
And I writhe.
Burning in my own flames;

Can you feel me?
I am struggling to hold you in my arms.
You and everyone float further away.
I whimper.
I brush my fingers against yours
One last time.
You do not notice.

Oh, but do not fret, world.
I will smile for you.
I promise.

Cry

It's not about the food.
It's not about the blood.
It's not because it's cool.

It's because this world sucks.
It's because the world hurts.
It's because people set me up for failure.
It's because I have to pretend to be perfect.
It's because I want to be.

It's my cry for help.
Please hear me.