At that instant, I knew something inside me had changed. The iron clasp holding it all together crumbled; now merely a pathetic pile of worthless dust. In one moment, so much has changed –yet, somehow, so little had transpired from it…
For one brief moment I thought, or hoped rather, that you were kidding – that it was your idea of a cruel joke. I knew it couldn’t be true. When those words left your mouth, my heart skipped a beat –and the world ended. Nothing mattered anymore and nothing else existed. Everything that had once been essential as air never seemed more insignificant. I felt cold. I felt fooled.
My eyes brimmed with tears. Pain washed over me, threatening to drag me under and drown me in its cruel obscurity. I prayed to vanish into the shiny vinyl floor, for the fluorescent lights to swallow me into a world where this agony and humiliation didn’t exist. Your face, full of fake concern, peered down on me pitifully.
Hatred crawled up my spine, spreading a painful warmth to my tear stained cheeks. The cold was replaced with a dynamic heat. The anger spread along my clammy skin, causing my hands to shake. I hated you. I tore away from your eyes -eyes that I once worshiped. Eyes that were once beautiful to me and full of promise.
I ran. I burst through the crowds that had started swarming like heartless predators around a frightened rabbit. Fingers pointed, unfamiliar faces whispered, and worse, faces peered at me with pity. I didn’t want anyone’s sympathy. I crashed through the doors and continued running. My eyes blinded by tears, sobs escaping through my chest in giant gasps I ran like I never ran before. I felt that if I ran fast enough I’d leave my old self behind. I’d leave behind this ache showered with lies and disappointment.
I reached a busy road and it came to me. It was too easy. One step and I was free. It would be one quick flash and I would never have to hurt like this anymore. My heart sped up, the sound pounding in my ears spreading blood to organs I didn’t need to use anymore. Just one step. I took one last breathe and closed my eyes…
And then I heard it - the sound of a beautiful, familiar voice calling out to me to stop. I turned around and saw a panicked boy running towards me. Within seconds I was embraced by his warm shaking arms. His eyes mirrored my own agony, his face tear stained like mine. He was my own personal angel. Reality hit me hard in the chest. The truth spread throughout my body, smacking me in the face, knocking me out of my trance. I would move on. You may have left me crumpled and bleeding on the floor but this boy would help me heal. The same boy who made me laugh until I cried, who stayed up all night with me listening to me rant -the one who time after time, picked me off the floor when I broken. My best friend sat there with me and silently held me as I cried until I couldn’t breathe. But I knew now that I would be okay. One day I would be happy again and I would forget the day when you told me you never loved me.
