All I want

So... I was bored and did not feel like doing my homework. So, I decided to write randomly and see what came out. Here's a part of what I wrote:

Is it too much to ask? Because there is so much that I want from you. I know I am being selfish and egotistic, but there is only so much I can give up without getting anything back in return. I have nothing left to offer you. I have shredded and crushed my soul into pieces for your approval and nothing remains that I can provide you with– and for that, I am sorry. I am sorry for never being good enough for you. I am sorry for never quite meeting your standards and expectations. Nevertheless, I have tried. I have strived and fought to feel satisfied with who I am. Yet, reality has its way of drowning me in its painful truths. The truth is I am tired. I am tired of grief and agony rippling through my skin and destroying everything in its path. And when the pain finally subsides, it settles itself deep into the core of my being and lays to rest. On the surface, I am content. On the inside, I am rotting. When the ache is not clawing its way through my chest, it’s laughing its cruel face smugly at me and slowly starts to erode away whom I am.

There's another part to this but I really did not feel like posting it up. This is not meant to be well written or anything. It's more meant to be a monologue to be read out loud.

I haven't blogged in a long time. Partly because I'm lazy and partly because no one is here to read what I say anyways. Please comment if you have anything to say about my writing.

Hope you're well and happy where ever you are :)

-Jessica